Dear Daisy,
I have been praying for a lost loved one for so many years and it seems that still nothing has changed. I feel like my prayers are hitting an invisible ceiling and falling back to the ground unanswered. I’ve shared Bible truth with this person and they don’t see it. How can they not see the truth that God has shown me? Why is God not answering my prayers for this person? Am I doing something wrong? Doesn’t God want my loved one saved? Please help, I’m out of ideas on what to do. ~ Signed, weary and frustrated.
Dear weary and frustrated,
So glad you reached out. Your answers are in His Word; let’s dig deeper and see what we can find.
Doesn’t God want my loved one saved?
Let’s begin with your last question. No one loves your loved one more than God does; He created that person in His image. He put His promises on their heart (Jeremiah 31:33). He created them for a special purpose and invited them to serve Him and follow Him wholeheartedly. He sent His son to die for their sins so that He could spend eternity with them (John 3:16).
In Isaiah 43:1, He tells us to fear not for He has called us by name; we are His. That alone answers your question, but actually raises another. Why aren’t they saved if He loves them so much? Especially after all these prayers that have gone up for them.
Let’s explore…
Why aren’t they saved yet?
You may have been taught or heard that God gives us free-will to choose Him. Here’s some proof:
Here God shows us our choices:
“19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
20 That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.” Deuteronomy 30:19-20
For those who chose Him:
“12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” John 1:12-13
Joshua reminds of our choices:
“14 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD. 15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:14-15
Jesus knocking to see if He can come into your heart:
(this is His last call to you) [sobering thought]
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20
When you read your Holy Bible, hopefully cover to cover, you discover how much He loves His creation and how He wants us to obey Him and He will bless us for our obedience. God lovingly gives us the opportunity to choose between His blessings, or His curses. It’s your choice! Also, out of His love for His creation, He will test and try us to shape His people into who He created each one to be in our lifetime. He teaches in His Word that life will not be easy but if we will trust Him to do what He says He will do and follow Him wholeheartedly, we will get to spend eternity with Him in Glory.
Learning the great things He has in store for us makes the tough times bearable, especially since He is always with us (Matthew 28:20, Psalms 27:10).
In studying His Holy Word, you learn that many people have willingly chosen not to obey and serve their Creator, Adonai our God. Sadly, they choose to do life without Him believing any number of lies from satan that they don’t need God, nor should they trust Him. As a result, God says He will give them over to a depraved mind (Romans 1:28-32); thus He closes their eyes and ears for a season for a reason (Isaiah 44:9-20, Matthew 15:14). You have no way of knowing what has gone on between God and the person you love that has brought them to this season of rebellion against God. Once you learn this truth, it helps you understand how someone can be blinded to the truth and not see reason. This is an opportunity for you to trust God that He knows what He is doing and is working a plan you cannot see.
On the flip side, every time someone cries out to Jesus and repents, and turns from their wicked ways and follows Him wholeheartedly He saves them. Unfortunately, many who get desperate in their troubles and decide to cry out to God for help, will oftentimes turn right back to their sinful ways once they catch their breath. We see that happening over and over in the Holy Bible.
TRUTH: God will not give up on His chosen ones. He knows our hearts. He knows that a remnant will follow Him wholeheartedly, and the masses will not. That’s why Jesus tells us about the Narrow Gate:
The Narrow Gate
13 “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Matthew 7:13-14 [See also: Genesis 6:5, Isaiah 1:9]
Even though Jesus died for all sins, a person has to want to be saved by Jesus and want to turn from their wicked ways they have chosen. Until they personally reach that point with Jesus, keep praying, keep trusting Jesus, and stay out of His way of helping that person. Their salvation is in His hands, not yours. Keep being the light of Jesus and let Him do what He does best for His children.
Unanswered prayers
Your prayers may seem unanswered and causing you to feel like you are doing something wrong or they would be saved by now; that’s simply not true. If God hasn’t answered your prayers, it could be one of two things: 1, your prayers don’t align with His will [pray Matthew 6:9-13], or, 2, He is working a plan you cannot see that will come about in His perfect timing. Hopefully you are now beginning to understand why your prayers haven’t been answered yet.
Important to note: YOU HAVE NO POWER! Only God has the power to heal and save a person. The sooner you realize that truth, the sooner you can live in peace as you allow God to fight this battle. You are only responsible for obeying God and sharing His truth and love with others; you are NOT responsible for the outcome, the Holy Spirit is. (Study Ezekiel chapters 2 & 3 to learn more).
Let me tell you a little story…
I was once in your shoes desperately praying for a loved one that is so lost. I literally wore myself out overcome with anxiety and frustration to the point of severe exhaustion. When I reached the point of becoming completely consumed with this person’s salvation, God had mercy on me and He sent someone to speak truth into me to snap me out of my laser-focused “fix it myself” mode. I will now share that wisdom with you.
On that day, I revealed all my worries and frustration about this subject with this wise woman God sent me. I added, if they won’t listen to me, where are they going to find truth? This person doesn’t go to church. They hang around people just like them. It’s clear that this person is tormented by demons and doing things Jesus wouldn’t approve of. How do I help fix this? This person gave up on church a long time ago after someone hurt them there. Ever since then, I have felt like it was my responsibility to make sure they knew God’s truth, but they won’t listen to me. I’ve prayed until I’m blue in the face and have caused myself to be filled with anxiety over the situation.
This wise woman patiently listened without interruption as I poured out my heart and frustrations over the matter. I then asked her, how do I pray these demons off of her and make her see the truth?
Her answer seemed so short and simple that it couldn’t be enough to fix this, yet, the Holy Spirit showed me the truth in her statement and immediately His peace washed over me as I allowed God to speak through her to me. She said, “you can’t pray off the evil spirits if she won’t let go of them. She has to want to let go of them, and want to turn to Jesus.” It was like a light bulb went off in my brain, and God had opened my eyes to see this truth for the very first time. It was simple, yet, so profound.
She gave me a minute to process that information and then continued on and said, “never pray against what God is doing. He purposefully closes eyes and ears for a reason for a season. We must trust that He is doing things that we cannot see, and that He is working all things for His good.”
Those were such simple statements full of divine truth from the Word of God. That day, God had opened my eyes to see this truth that I had been blinded too until He knew I was ready to receive. He was teaching me valuable lessons through this experience that I did not see coming. He knows my heart; He knew I was hungry and ready for more of His truth. So God opened my eyes and ears to see and hear to learn this truth on a deeper level. What I thought was a personal mission for a loved one’s salvation, God had intended all along to use “my plan” teach me wisdom to pass along to you and others.
After speaking with this wise woman, I went home and prayed; this time my prayers were very different. I no longer desperately prayed for my loved one; instead, in prayer, I handed them over to Jesus so that He could do what He needed to do in that person. I did not realize that in my attempt to “help” God “fix” this person, that I was actually standing in His way. Once I repented and stepped back from the situation, all my anxiety and frustrations melted away. That’s what our God of Love does for us; blesses us with His grace and mercy.
Be still and know
With this new revelation you have learned today, let me encourage you to step back, repent, be still and know, resting in His arms as He takes this battle you have given Him. You do the trusting and praying. Let Him do the work, that is His to do.
Allow these scriptures to re-direct your path:
“33 But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.
34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”
Jeremiah 31:33-34
“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” Jeremiah 33:3
“But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.” 1John 2:27
In time, your loved one will see God’s truth. It may not look like you thought it would, but it is exactly like God knew it would be. He has written the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). Jesus said, to leave everything and follow Him, that includes your loved ones. Focus on Jesus, He will do the rest.
Heart check time
Let’s make sure your heart is aligned with Jesus. Don’t complicate the process for salvation. Keep it simple. Whether you have prayed this before, rededicate your life today and go “all in” with Him. It’s time for a deeper relationship with your Creator, Adonai.
Do the ABC’s and repent today.
- A: Admit that you are a sinner. (Romans 3:23, Isaiah 64:6, Ephesians 2:8-9)
- B: Believe in your heart that Jesus is the son of God and that He died for your sins and rose from the dead for you. (John 3:16-18, 1Corinthians 15:1-4)
- C: Call on Jesus and repent of your sins and turn back to Him and ask Jesus to show you the way. (Romans 10:9-13, John 14:6)
In closing,
Always ask Jesus what you should do in every situation. The Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you. If it’s not okay with Him, He will check your spirit and you will have an uneasy feeling and doubt about going forward. Always follow Jesus; NOT your heart; our hearts are fickle and can’t be trusted. Listen to the Holy Spirit; He is trying to protect you. You have a choice to obey or ignore. Choose to obey and stay under His protection.
“The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.“
Proverbs 3:5
“When you know you grow!”