Drowning in despair
Dear Daisy, I need help and don’t know where else to turn. My marriage is falling apart, my husband has already left me, I don’t make enough money to support myself and my child, I have more debt than I will ever be able to pay, and I’m a recovering addict hanging on by a thread here. I read my Bible as best I can, and have prayed, but God isn’t answering my prayers. I have no one I can turn to for help. I’m drowning here, can hardly breathe, and becoming so weary that I’m struggling to believe that God cares about me. What should I do? ~ Signed, Drowning in despair
Dear Drowning in despair,
I’m so glad you reached out to find hope here. It does sound like you are going through a lot and need sound advice and direction for your life. It’s not a coincidence that God led you to Dear Daisy. Let’s see what answers we can find for you.
Scripture tells us that God allows and/or causes things to happen in our lives to draw us closer to Him. Without these battle experiences, we would go through life thinking we didn’t need God. Also, without these personal battle experiences, you would not know and understand His healing power, His provision, or the depth of love He has for you. Through these life battles that are intended to show you God’s power and His love, you will not only find healing but also that you have new choices: 1. To become a wholehearted follower of Jesus living with His hope and peace not fearing your next life battle while getting to look forward to spending eternity with Him in Heaven, or 2. return to living life on your own again with fear and anxiety after the battle is won. If you choose to continue clinging to Him and wholeheartedly follow Him, then when the next battle comes, it will be a lot easier because you already have your hope and trust in Him to fight it for you.
Even if you are already a wholehearted follower of Jesus, these experiences are still necessary for your spiritual growth. They keep you close to Him in His peace and hope as you learn and grow, and He wants you to take the knowledge and experience to help others by sharing what God has done for you.
When bad things are happening in your life, look up. See where your hope comes from; Jesus your Savior. He wants you to cling to Him and not let go. Cling to Him when things are bad so that you can walk through them together. Maintain your position clinging to Him when things are good so that He can continue to protect and teach you.
Here’s another thing to remember, “the teacher is always silent during the test.” This means that during the moments of your battle when you think God isn’t listening or answering your prayer pleas, He is actually remaining silent while He works, and is testing you to see if you are going to trust Him in this. Oftentimes the answers to your prayers are hidden in the silent times alone with Him in study and prayer. He says in scripture that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). He is not man that He can lie (Malachi 3:6). If His Holy Word says it, He will do it. Trust that He is working a plan that you cannot see. Another reminder why you should stay in His Word, His Holy Bible, so that you know what His promises are for you. You can’t cling to His promises if you don’t know what they are.
God knows what is best for you. Has it ever occurred to you that your prayers to Him may not be what you actually need? What is best for you is to trust God and His process. You won’t find answers until He leads you through your pain to the other side. That’s why it is so important to cling to Him and trust Him every step of the way; you can’t see what He sees. Imagine trying to walk through a blinding rainstorm or blizzard; you can’t see anything but you hunker down and forge through knowing that if you keep going you will get on the other side of it. That’s what this process looks like when you are going through the battle clinging to Jesus, you can’t see what He has for you on the other side of the storm. It’s a test of your faith, hunker down and trust Him; He has great blessings for you if you keep your eyes focused on Jesus and not your problems. If you will put all your hope in Him, Jesus will get you to the other side of this battle victoriously. God will teach you that what you are trying to hang on to in your life or thought you wanted, is not what He has planned for you. It is often necessary for God to remove people and things from your life to get you where He wants you to be, safe with Him. There is purpose in your pain; trust His process.
As I shared in my book, Abandoned but Not alone, I begged God to take me around the problem; the easy way out. He spoke to my spirit and said He was taking me straight through the fire. I cried and asked Him why we had to go “through the fire?” He responded to my spirit and said that “it is in the fire that He burns off the impurities in my life.” He asked me to trust Him; I said ok. He is asking you to do the same thing. There is purpose in the pain of walking through the process with Him, He has to prune and refine us, just like He did with the Israelites for forty years in the desert. They had been in bondage their whole lives and He had to prune and refine them before taking them to the Promised Land. It’s the same for us. We wouldn’t be ready to receive what He has for us if we don’t allow Him to change our mindset from our old ways and habits. Hopefully that helps you understand why He takes us through the fire and not around it. That alone should give you hope to trust Him.
When you are so weary that you don’t know what to pray or read in the Holy Bible, pray these passages everyday during the storm, and then continue daily after the storm. They are your strength and your shield, and the daily dependence on these promises, during and after the storm, will transform your life and keep you close to God – where you belong.
Matthew 6:9-13
Psalms 27 (the whole chapter)
Psalms 91 (the whole chapter)
At the worst times of my life there was a particular passage that helped me the most and I read it everyday. This passage gave me hope as it reminded me that if I cling to God I will be okay. These scriptures helped me breathe and kept me from drowning in despair. These living words that God promises us actually have the power to give you confident hope in the storm.
“But now, O Jacob,
listen to the LORD who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name;
you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the LORD,
your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored,
and I love you.
“Do not be afraid,
for I am with you.”
Isaiah 43:1-5a
Isn’t that beautiful?!? I hope you can see His love for you in that passage. In scripture, “Israel” represents all who wholeheartedly follow God in all His ways. In this passage, if you look through the eyes of Jesus, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can see how much God loves you and wants to protect you if you will wholeheartedly trust Him. He will not let you drown; cling to Him through the storm.
Always ask Jesus what you should do in every situation. The Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you. If it’s not okay with Him, He will check your spirit and you will have an uneasy feeling and doubt about going forward. Always follow Jesus; NOT your heart; our hearts are fickle and can’t be trusted. Listen to the Holy Spirit; He is trying to protect you. You have a choice to obey or ignore. Choose to obey and stay under His protection.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.“
Proverbs 3:5
“When you know you grow!”